It's no secret that I love to run. Running for sports, fitness, for a race, in the park on a sunny afternoon - it doesn't matter, it's just the movement and release of endorphin's that I enjoy I guess.
Lately though, my joy for running has really showed its head. I was leisurely trotting around a park in south London recently, on an early spring day where I was happy to be warm enough to roll my socks down. I was in a zone, admiring the sun worshipers up at the trees and down at my feet - thinking how my foot strike is much more efficient recently than in days past. I was thinking of all these things, as sweat gradually built up on my brow - and wondering why it is that I enjoy running so much. Then it came to me - I just like to be free! Free from the confines of an office, free from stress, free from people and I guess - free from reality in my own way!
Then it sort of dawned on me, a kind of bolt from the blue as they say, that lately it's a different type of running I've been doing. Some people call it running away and sometimes I'd have to agree, but lately, in a relatively new super positive mindset, I like to call it running free. You see, I've been a bit lost lately - and when I say lately, I guess I mean I've always been a bit that way.
At 18, we are pushed to decide "what we want to do", from there on, our lives are somewhat shaped. However, when I started uni, I had no idea what I wanted to do and 12 years on, I think I have even less idea! But now as I reflect, I've actually been doing what I want all along - spending time with wonderful people, challenging myself, setting goals and going after them while all along having melt downs of "what am I doing..."
I left my homeland for the first time at 21 - an than one dictating it. That being said, that summer was definitely a pivotal point in my future.
I had been on a plane twice before - never more than an hour each time. Since July 2004, however, I've flown over 125 times, studied in France, Canada and of course Australia, traveled 36 countries by biking, hiking, bus and all modes in between. I've found myself working at home, Canada and then somehow winding up working for an Olympic Games in London, before heading back home....wherever home may be....
Now these numbers are neither here nor there - one does not simply achieve happiness through traveling around, nor does one by not. Happiness, for me, is a mindset, not an achievement and thus it comes and goes, ebbs and flows like the tide at sea. Some people sit still and let it pass in and out
while others seem always to be chasing it! I haven't quite figured out which I am doing.
For most, life is a haze of working, taxes, mortgages, kids, bills, sirens, emails and phone calls that we apparently want to be free from. But given a chance, do we? Or is the comfort derived from
stability enough to keep us happy? And if it is - should we be ashamed?
At the conclusion of 2012, apparently I said something tot he tune of "I will never, EVER, under any circumstance, live in London again." I was done. Well, 5 months, 3,000km of cycling in Africa, summer with the family at home, a holiday in New Zealand and a long flight later, I found myself back. In London for a visit before heading back home for a job, a lease, buying some furniture, a new car and some stability at last. The chance to have a few possessions, routine and structure....all good in theory.
However, life changes quickly. 2 days ago I cancelled my return flight 4 hours before departure, declined one job offer in Canada and resigned from a job in Australia I was yet to start and now find myself in a park in south London, catching some early summer sun and reaching out to people for
jobs, somewhere to live and other practicalities required to stay here for another summer.
I came over this time time with carry on baggage only and have no"stuff", no job and no real idea what I am doing. But wow do I feel free again. It seems the angst that has been omnipresent as my life yearned for direction over the last few months has all been washed away and I am free. Maybe this feeling won't last forever, in fact I'm sure it can't, but right now, right here, I feel happy - so that's all that matters.
There's no wonder I like to run.
